How can a successful 2-career couples marriage

As a lawyer, I almost lived for many years in divorce court, Kern County, California Superior Court held on 13 May at the appropriate number.

professionals and business people Many of my clients are highly educated, and their spouses have their own careers. Economic success, these people seem to have it all – location, money, respect – and as if struck by lightning, it all fell apart. Or, it seems to have pit overnight.

, I do not know, “what’s wrong?” In view of H. G. Wells time machine seats, if they could go back, they might have avoided the sadness lurking in their future? The answer

this question is yes. Figuring out how couples have a career and a successful marriage is the message in the book, Hopewell huge insightful apply for a marriage license should be granted to working parents.

couple working , by the headquarters in Paris, France, Jennifer professor Petriglieri INSEAD International Business School, and has a subtitle, “How to grow in love and work.” After reading it, I can tell you, Jennifer is right on the money, reveal how the couple got itself into trouble, and to provide practical – almost out of the paint method quicksand held by this number.

assumptions – no questions asked

also often heard in court, “no, assumes facts not appear !”

Jennifer find the same thing happen, “many couples for marriage Disney Princess view, it will always be a happy, if not, then you married the wrong man! that’s the idea.” If I want the relationship to work, then What’s wrong with it. “But it is exactly the same to . The working relationship is very good to do, because they put a lot of couples,” she firmly safeguard.

This is not a typical “Here’s how to fix your marriage” manual full term psychological babble, which makes it not much practical significance.

On the contrary, couple working turn the reader into the fly on the wall, observing and listening to many interesting interview Jennifer within five years of the studyWas developed for the book were based. In fact, you meet people she interviewed, how they hear directly from their dual careers has become a threat to all countries, they cherished.

From these interviews, she has developed a way went to the main issues before they develop, and tells us that when the couple asked, “What are we doing wrong?” The answer is that they tend to focus on the wrong things people.

have something to give you the most?

“The first thing to get wrong couple is pure focus on practicality. They will look at financial, child care, logistics, location, travel to work, yes, these are very important. However, if it is checking on them, trouble is just around the corner. this is because these are not the drivers of conflict or tension in the primary thing. they are a red herring.

“What usually happens in deeper problem L level, the mechanisms of power that occurred psychology. Who owns them will have the right to decide which direction to go? Most couples know that there is something deeper. However, they have not received language or framework to talk about it, “she said.

I asked her,” How can the framework of the development of two professional people? “She proposed three steps to follow in the initial stages of your relationship:

1. Identify the most important thing for both of you

What do you want most out of life your career.? What is your goal to live where you want to what kind of family is by understanding this, the couple there is a set of principles -??? a yardstick to go by then, decided that each person will inevitably be asked to make the road you both should jointly established principles and those positioning.

2. draw your venue border.

agree that you are not willing to cross the line, such as live position. “we will stick to the West Coast this is ‘no’ to work on the East coast, even though this will be a better job. “Or, as another example,” If you have a job you have to travel more than 30%, it will not work. “Things

3. Discussion of the things you are afraid your relationship occurred.

What do you worry about what changes might have occurred? Voicing these concerns in the example might include”I can see you excessive physical exertion, this will mean I will not be able to dedicate the time I thought my career.” Or, “What will our friends think that if we break up child-care duties 50-50?” or, “I fear you will envy my success.” If we discussed our concerns, we will be better able to alleviate them that they should become a reality.

confirm the things you enjoy each other

Jennifer summary of our interview what I know from my own divorce clients – they did not do it. “In order not to admit their beauty, intelligence and wisdom leads to our partners do not feel appreciated, and, ultimately, not love.”